How to kill a feeling…

This post is not about how to kill a feeling you have.

Time fixes everything that is temporary and feelings are ephemeral. Trying to hold on to them more that their butterfly like life is only going to hurt you.

Killing a feeling leaves scars. Letting it die of its own accord might not, but if you held on to it for too long you might not have that option anymore…

To stop feeling something, it helps to remove yourself from the trigger of the feeling and if the trigger is yourself, like feeling guilty or angry all the time, you can replace this feeling with something constructive, like doing something to help others/ change things, although I’m not fond of this workaround.

This post is about how to kill a feeling in someone else.

1. Ignorance.

If you ignore them, they will go away. Eventually. You do need patience and since we are built to react, it is hard.

It is not necessarily a mean thing to do. As I said above, to stop feeling something, it helps to remove yourself from the trigger of the feeling. So if these people won’t remove you from their lives you might do them the favour of removing yourself.

2. Not returning their feelings.

If you answer hate with kindness, by experience, I assure you the hate goes away. Eventually. You need to be patient and consistent in your kindness. It’s hard. We are built to answer in the same note as we are treated and it is fair, but it is not always helpful.

3. Clarity

I don’t like clarity, but it helps to have things clear and to have closure in order to be able to move on and leave a feeling behind. I find grief needs clarity to go away, most of all.

When I first thought about creating the work “How to kill a feeling…” I wasn’t expecting it to be something positive, because the feeling was like a drug, or to be more correct the trigger of the feeling was like a drug. The more you get, the more you want. And I don’t like it when people get that way with me. Being on the other side, the demanding side, for once, I still don’t get it. I especially don’t get why you would be mad with the person not giving you what you want, althought I’ve gone there for a couple of weeks. The issue is with you, not them. And yet… the longer they feed you, the harder it is to get away and the more you would sacrifice to get that… Thank Covid that the distance made it impossible for me to go that far and I was able to stop before it became possible again…

And yet…

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