It is unfortunately true. If you are inclined to be happy you will be happy. Or at least, you will be happy more often than not. That’s because you will look for reasons to be happy. Of course, you will be sad too, that’s life. Shit happens.
You might have noticed that if you are in a bad mood, it is relatively hard to see something in a positive light. That’s why I find it ideal to have activities that get you in a good mood regardless.
One of these activities for me is sport. And since two weeks I regained my physical shape somewhat, and even if my back pain is still bothering me, it is allowing me to enjoy the gym sessions again. It happened more that once that I had a bad day until I had my gym session than it got better, sometimes with effects lasting for the next days.
I wrote about not liking to keep the ball in my court. Well, if I really care for you, if you kept the ball in your court for too long, I might throw you another. Sometimes that pays off. Sometime you realise that the effort is useless and move on. Not sure which of the cases was yesterday, but I was in a terribly good mood because I reached out to some people and others reached out to me in return. I talk to people I haven’t in quite some time and this is a good thing. I also made new friends and I’m not speaking just about the moth that likes to sit on my finger.
I always say friendship is more important than love. I do hope I am strong enough to keep the friendship of my dove although I foolishly want something else. …for a moment there, I wanted to say “more”, but love is not more than friendship. It’s something else. If you have a friend in the person you are in love with than that’s perfect, but it doesn’t necessarily happen that way. I would think more often than not people in love are not friends as well.
Monday was a bad day and that’s why I took the time to sit on the grass with my cat. There isn’t much space in the courtyard for this because of the car, but I managed and quite enjoyed it and my cat appreciated it too.
After, I had the drum rehearsal. I wanted to skip it because I was feeling sick, but gathered myself and went through with it and quite enjoyed it as well. I finally got how to follow a rythm. We do have a great mentor (he is right, he is not a teacher, he is so much more, inspiring us to find our own way in the drumming world). Sunday I took the time to practice and finally got the Samba premier intro. Wonderful feeling I can’t even begin to explain. I think this rythm will stick with me forever as a first love does.
I also had some progress with my art projects. Now I’m stuck again, but I will get it eventually. Just have to keep trying.
Also, I had this reflection on Monday that some things must die for others to live. It could seem a sad thought, but I find it extremely comforting and peaceful. Accepting life as it is.
It got me thinking that maybe it’s better to kill the love for my dove in order for the friendship to survive. I’m sharpening my knifes now. Soon I will tell how to kill a feeling. Not turn it into friendship or, worst, hate, just straight up remove it from existence. And you may feel free to add your own solutions. So may options for this issue, one just has to decide to feel differently. And yes, it is as hard as it sounds easy.
As I suspected yesterday, the moth chose to die in my presence. I find that poetic as it is not the only thing dieing in my hands right now.