The ball is in your court

I must say I do not like to keep the ball in my court. If I have to answer, I will do it as soon as possible. If I owe something or promised something, same.

I have this innate need to react. It’s not good, although in certain contexts it may be. Only since last year I’ve started learning not to react immediately. I learnt that from my dove although neither of us is good at it and, in her case, it takes way too long for a reaction …she’s more expert in not reacting at all… If only, the issue or whatever goes away. And quite often it does, so no reason to stop acting like that.

I actually realized that people asking for help, if they do not receive it immediately, find their own solutions. Especially in work environments and that’s good. For friends, I’d rather it won’t come to that. Though sometimes it does, since we have such busy lives.

I still don’t get people with time to get bored these days or ever (though getting bored is good too, it means you get recharged). It’s true I have more time, but I use it for art and the options there are so many that I barely have time for anything else.

Today I squized in some drum practice, which was really fullfiling, not too mention the warm up is meditating + exercises for the hands and it really revives the brain and calms the mood. And it doesn’t take that long and if done daily it could really help.

I still worked on a project between the warm up and the actual drum practice, though. Because art is my addiction and the ideas I have I need to see them happen.

I did a lot of progress, not because I had more time, but because I have more piece of mind. Running around between home, work, meetings with friends and events, not to mention any to do chores, do not leave one with much disponibility for constructive thought. Now things seem much clearer with the project’s I have and I actually seem them take shape one by one. It’s quite exciting.

All this reflection started from the fact that there are people it’s easy to keep in touch with and people that it is not easy to keep in touch with. I used to be one of the latter. Now, I’m somewhere in the middle. It depends who you are. There are people I make efforts to keep in touch with, fewer with the years and changing from time to time as I tire to be the only one reaching out much faster than before.

I used to hold on to people but I’m not doing it anymore since finishing highschool… Or the university… It think letting go was something that I started to practice during the university, but I truly mastered (or thought I did until I met this bloody dove) recently, maybe in the last three years or so.

Letting go of things comes easy, of people a bit harder, but that’s not bad. Letting go of people shouldn’t be easy, but sometimes it is very healthy, mentally especially.

I have a friend who shared a photo today …a cartoon. An elephant was walking alone saying to himself “I’m alright. I’m alright.” And when he bumped into a …rabbit, was it? (I can’t trust myself since I’m starting to see rabbits everywhere) Anyway, the elephant bumped into a friend and said to him “I’m not ok”. In essence, this cartoon isn’t bad. It speaks about the need to interact with others, about the importance of friends and yes you should be able to confess to your friends that you are not ok even when it is hard to admit that to yourself. However, knowing this woman, the cartoon just seemed all wrong because she complains all the time. She rarely says anything positive. And when she does… Anyway…

By contrast, one of my best friends, who has some health issues that the current situation makes hard for her to tend to as she should, sent me all the positive vibes I needed this morning after we had a short chat admitting to each other that we are not quite ok. And it’s not the first time she does that in the last two months.

She is one of those people I wanted to let go of about four years ago, although we’ve been through a lot and she helped me very much at one point, but life, or more specifically another friend, didn’t allow me to. And I am so very greatful for that.

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