I create my own happiness…

…or at least take full advantage of the circumstances I’m delt.

I was challenged on Facebook to post a black and white photo that represents my daily life with no comment or person in it, daily for 10 days.

Sure, I take photos anyway. Why not?!

A few days in, I sent the game to my dove and asked her if she wants to play. I was surprised she said yes. Even more surprised she went through with it.

Of course, she broke the rules. No surprise there. Although, I noticed others posting photos of their hands. I mean you yourself are a person too and cannot be in the photo. 😄 Anyway… She also posted sepia photos… I mean, still monochrome, at least she stuck with that. The photo with the hands was black and white though. Breaking just one rule at a time, I guess. 😅 Also, it never crossed my mind to post photos found online, even though the rules are not clear about that. Though, I guess if I didn’t find the original, it didn’t happen. 😅

The first sepia photo she sent was the day I remembered I wanted to try to paint the rope with coffee. Already did it with wine. Next step 👉

It actually turned out really nice and also created an opportunity to reach out to another friend with whom I talked about this and wondered if the colouring would make any real difference. It does.

I also create my own misery, do not get me wrong… Everything above could have easily gone differently since it doesn’t really depend on me… Of course, it’s all on how I would have reacted. I could have still been happy.

Not like this though. That’s why I do not like people that need to be in a relationship. They create uneccessary responsibility on the partner to keep them happy. Fuck off! Make your own happiness!

I actually had last Saturday as example. Because I felt a bit out of sorts, I also found fault with this interaction with my dove. I mean …really?! 😂 Get over yourself, will you? That’s why it was important to let my thoughts out. Writing helps because when you see your thoughts, it makes it more easy to control them. Well… I’ve seen people taken over by their feeling even in writing. It happens to me too, but for all intents and purposes, it helps to write what you think and preferably read it as you are someone else. If someone else wrote all that, how would you feel about it? If they wrote that to you, would you think they would have been justified? Now those are hard questions to answer to objectively, but it is a good exercise.

Saturday was also the day we reached a mind meld. I did mention, the dove doesn’t care much for rules. So instead of posting a photo about her day she was answering my photos. All of a sudden everything made sense and was like a conversation.

I knew it is going to be a communication with each one saying their piece, but she turned it into a conversation by listening to me. It’s not only more than I would have hoped for, it’s more than I would have thought to do.

I tried in the begining to keep the photos different from the ones in FB even if only slightly, but at a certain point commodity got the best of me. Shame, shame, shame! 😂

So, after a mind meld, another one is highly unlikely unless you are at impro practice or you’ve practiced / interacted with the others very very much. And it is a bit disappointing. Again, it’s all on how you decide to look at things and what you expect. I already got more than I wished for and way more than expected, so it was good. I wish I could trust myself to have this attitude always… I guess one cannot help themselves to want and expect something from others. Is it even ok to yourself not to want or expect anything from others?

I do not care much for people being constant. I do not think it is possible because circumstances differ and of course so does your attitude and you can’t see how the circumstances of the other have changed, sometimes not even when you know them really really well.

I’ve always had the feeling that me and my dove were playing, but for 10 days I knew the rules, not that it helped with anything. Imagine not knowing the rules and the other one breaking them sometimes. Do the rules even matter at this point? Is it still a game if there are no rules?

So, anyway, what I have with my dove feels like a Ghibli romance 😅

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