Last week was like this, which is normal even in an period where life was like it used to be.
This weekend was especially full of emotions which is normal as well given that the usual methods to keep them in line might no longer be available.
The reason why I feel so much has nothing to do with what is going on in the world right now. It is helping with the current situation though, since I have something else to worry about, if I have to worry about anything, which I don’t. I’m just talented at hurting myself sometimes. 🤷*
I just read something on Facebook and found myself feeling scared …an irrational fear since that experience wasn’t mine and I might not find myself in a similar situation, not to mention the infinite ways it could go differently than what I read.
I do not share the optimism of some people that this world will change for the better. I do not trust people. Not because they are bad or have bad intentions, but because they are selfish. The one most natural thing is selfishness. And we all want our lives back. Too few want different lives when this is over and even fewer are willing to fight for it with more than social media words.
The fear I experience when I do choose to be afraid is that we will not get our lives back, nor will we choose the lives we will have when this is over. It has no bases. It’s just fear of the unknown. I thought I didn’t have this. It turns out I do.
So, I took a breath. Went out for a while. Out in the garden 🙄 Sun is good for the mood. For how long I cannot know. Hopefully long enough.
Until then, just one day at a time. So far I go more like one week at time. I am a little bit curios for next weekend. I foresee another emotional rollercoaster which will decide if I will bring to life the ideea painfully harassing me today or I will continue to focus on programing interactive lamps, which is two months overdue already …thank the Universe the world stopped and I have time now. 🙄🤷
*the next paragraph is unrelated to this 😅