How to watch a feeling die…

I wanted to start with something else, but I got distracted for half of my subway ride home by a gif of my nephew. So cute. ๐Ÿ’–

I still dislike children, don’t get me wrong, but I will learn to love one (not my nephew) and there is one child, if given the chance, I could love him unconditionally and effortlessly (still not my nephew).

I have a love hate relationship with pain. There are some pains I like and some I dislike.

Don’t worry, this is not a BDSM post. As stated before, I do not need to voluntary induce pain to myself, my spine takes care of that.

I dislike most of all headaches. I just wanted to get that out of the way.

However, back pain is the worst because it’s there all the fucking time and sometimes it gets in the way of things.

This week I started biking to work ๐Ÿงก

And started going to the gym again although, my back pain didn’t subside. Today I wondered if I should go to the gym or not. (I don’t bike because it rains – fucking spring weather ๐Ÿ˜†)

I went despite…kinda dragging myself there.

I feel better now. I do not drag myself anymore. I am kinda worried about how I’ll feel in the morning, but… Eh ๐Ÿคท (later edit: it was ok, not all pink, but -ish -> biked to work, back home – in all about 25 km and then went to theatre and back – another 20 km ๐Ÿ’ช)

Two things I did at the gym:

  • I took it slower than usual
  • Stopped if the pain picked

To do this I had to do the exercises conciously. Not fun. But helpful. And I had to use my abdomen properly. Auch.

And once again Marina Abramovic proves right: when you think you got to the limit of your strength wait a little longer, you’ll see you can do more. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ