Being vs feeling angry

It’s one of those things that come together, I think.

Being angry is actually being irritable. The neurons are very sensitive to stimuli. Like with any nerve, if a signal was too persistent, it can continue transmitting even if it doesn’t get the input it usually needs to fire. It can take over the neighboring neurons and my brain police is either on vacation or joined the party. And I seem to have more than one after-party going on at present.

This sensitivity that I actually have by default, causes a general bad feeling which makes everything annoying. What gets the neurons to be highly sensitive when receiving signals from all the nerves in the body could be a great deal of many things. This annoyance comes however, from the brain not knowing what to ignore from all the inputs it gets. And those are way too many. Being on overdrive, I can see how it is quick to tire itself and want to push back at anything sending signals to it.

Chronic pain isn’t helping obviously. Not being able to sleep properly because of the pain makes it worst of course. And just how much can you tell yourself “it’s not them, it’s me. I shouldn’t be angry with them.” Nor with me for that matter. It’s gonna pass like everything else. Time. And patience. And I don’t have either. 🤷

Coffee is a particular bad idea as this drug causes the brain to focus on something specific and guess what my brain focuses on? However, no coffee is not an option… Or is it? [Later edit, it seems not]

Looking at photos of baby animals is definitely helpful (one just has to remember to do it) and I do have an abundance of those thanks to my friends. 😍

Feeling angry is a choice though. Especially if you are angry with someone/something.