I made a video to make me happy when I’m not

This is one of those moments when anything can happen. It is so exciting because it is unpredictable. Uncertainty for a short period of time is inspiring to me. If I don’t have it, I create it. This time though it lasted for a long time… for months, even a year… However, it is coming to an end and my mind is on fire with ideas that in a beautiful turn of events revolve around my new project “Heavy heart“. They come organically and are at the right stage for me to create them.

I also have that feeling and my cat is having that feeling too. The calm before the storm. Or is it the calm after the storm now? It’s been quite an adventure this year and I am so ready for whatever comes next.

I do like that I find myself in what I wrote before because I can no longer find myself in how I act now. Something has changed and I do not know if for the better or worse, but it is what it is and I am going to embrace it. I do get that warm feeling inside when I think about… well anything. That fairy dust is most present around me, which is a very kind gesture from my fairy considering I almost killed her this summer by almost growing up. Fortunately, I took measures against growing up a year ago when I applied for the Florence Biennale and made all those crazy plans to spend a month in Italy. I do let Future Sabina deal with a lot of shit, but sometimes I save her too.

My fairy cannot fly, it is true, but it’s ok because she rides on a dove. Not the pigeon dressed as dove that I’ve been chasing for the past months, the real deal, my inspiration. I know I wondered where my dove is for a long time and this year I had this strong and, now, scary illusion that it is someone else, but the dove is actually my inspiration and she is everywhere, not in just one person or place. It’s in everything. My dove is everything/one. It isn’t present in my self portrait because she is the portrait.

I could say more, but I only started writing this to share a perfect morning I spent with my cat who seems to feel that I might leave him again… which will happen sooner or later and next time it might just be for longer than ever before.

Later edit: While I was cleaning the over 10 000 (!!!) photos and videos I made over the past year and a half, I found another one ^.^

You can hear him purr ❤️

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