I miss my imaginary world sometimes…

When I was a child, I spent a lot of my awake time in my head, imagining stuffs. I didn’t need to read or look at movies because I would make up my own stories. This imaginary world is the reason I don’t get bored on a long way home or at school/work. I like to say I spent my high school years sleeping, but I actually spent them in this imaginary world.

I am accessing this world more rarely since I grew up. This doesn’t happen because I live more in the real world, but because I have problems that take a lot of my thoughts. So when I’m coming or going home, instead of imagining my stuffs I get to think about solutions that mostly never come or if they do, I can’t just shift my thoughts until I act upon them.

Also, I listen to podcasts lately. I started this to get a break from my usual thoughts about problems I have and the scenarios that go with them, because I imagine stuffs, even if not what I would like. Read that “I imagine stuffs” as in I have no choice. My brain makes up shit. I haven’t mistook something in my head for reality… so far. Still, I think it will be funny if I get Alzheimer.

Podcasts don’t always work to keep my mind on something else, but most of the time I get to be distracted by a story about how chimps can become not aggressive or how dolphins do not sleep like us. A dolphin could kill himself by falling asleep completely, because they breath consciously, unlike us, so they cannot loose consciousness. And while this information is kinda interesting, I don’t think I would have remembered it if I didn’t hear it in this kind of podacast that Radiolab does, because I don’t actually care about dolphins. The key is that the two guys making Radiolab have a conversation about a topic and as a result they attach feelings to it that they express during their conversation. And that is what makes me remember the information. The feelings. It is also a welcome distraction when I feel too much about things going on in my life and because I’m a woman that happens like at least twice a day.

It’s been a crazy year, 2015, so far, and it’s only May. All this is good because things are happening, but I realize I did not get much time for myself in those past six months. I got to explore my imaginary world, even more rarely. I miss it. It’s my happy place.

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